Usually I manage to control all of this pretty well, but there is one thing that is guaranteed to set me off and that is packing for a trip - particularly one I'm going on by myself. Which I have never done before now to the extent of spending an entire month on another continent away from anyone I've known for more than 10 months.
Why, you may wonder, does this tend to manifest when I'm packing rather than in the social situation itself? Because I know that I will be trapped in situations that are likely to make me uncomfortable and I'm going to be without my support network of family and friends, and often unable to excuse myself from said situations (hence the use of the word 'trapped' I suppose).
Given this propensity for stressing out one could be easily forgiven for assuming I'd be curled up in a corner bawling my eyes out, but I'm feeling surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Not that calm is a word I expected to use about myself right now, excited, hyped, nervous, these would all be more appropriate descriptions but I was expecting more of the sheer terror side of things than I am actually feeling.
I see two possibilities with this, the first is that I'm actually learning to deal better with my depressive, anxious and social phobic issues. Lol, yeah right. The second possibility is that this is such a colossal amount of worry and anxiety for me to feel that I can't comprehend it and, paradoxically this makes me even less worried because whatever happens I'll have had an entirely new experience and I am sure that it will have a positive impact on how I deal with my issues more generally.
So a happy new year to all, and here's to my first challenge and adventure of 2013, America.
Given this propensity for stressing out one could be easily forgiven for assuming I'd be curled up in a corner bawling my eyes out, but I'm feeling surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Not that calm is a word I expected to use about myself right now, excited, hyped, nervous, these would all be more appropriate descriptions but I was expecting more of the sheer terror side of things than I am actually feeling.
I see two possibilities with this, the first is that I'm actually learning to deal better with my depressive, anxious and social phobic issues. Lol, yeah right. The second possibility is that this is such a colossal amount of worry and anxiety for me to feel that I can't comprehend it and, paradoxically this makes me even less worried because whatever happens I'll have had an entirely new experience and I am sure that it will have a positive impact on how I deal with my issues more generally.
So a happy new year to all, and here's to my first challenge and adventure of 2013, America.
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