The Pretense of Adulthood

So I've decided that I should probably stop pretending that I'm a responsible adult type person and admit that for all intents and purposes I'm still roughly eight years old.

I have good reason for this conclusion, I spent most of yesterday playing board games, watching cartoons, reading comics and playing video games and eating almost every variety of food that is guaranteed to give you either diabetes or a heart attack.  Also, but I did all of this with a group of friends, all roughly my age, who also claim to be adults, some even responsible ones.

These are all things that I am regularly told are for kids and I should have grown out of it by now and, oh my absolute favourite, that I "should act more my age" which I'm starting to understand just means be more boring.  I don't, however, intend to let anyone else tell me what I should and shouldn't enjoy doing at what age - if I'm not hurting anybody and I'm not breaking the law then butt the hell out.

So I've decided not to bother pretending that I'm an adult with adult sensibilities.  I like YA fiction, I like wasting summer afternoons playing with water pistols and winter afternoons playing with nerf guns, I like my music too loud and my drinks too strong, and I enjoy awkward jokes about various bodily excretions more that I should.

Source is probably somewhere on Tumblr

I'm going to try and be more confident about it and not try and hide that I have the maturity of a squirrel with ADHD.  Except in job interviews.

The Joy of Telemarketers

I just read this post over at A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings and it got me thinking about how I deal with my hate of telephones.  I am not a fan of talking to people I can't see, typing is fine but talking is harder.

Source, and no I don't have any idea what it says on that page.

The one thing that I always used to hate most was telemarketers, I swear something like 90% of the calls I get are trying to sell me a mortgage or an internet deal or overseas travel, usually from India.  They used to be incredibly frustrating but then I decided to make a game out of these calls, it has worked for me and now I share the rules with all of you so that you can find enjoyment in these otherwise terrible calls.

1. The game starts from the moment you realise it is a telemarketer on the other end of the phone, once it has started it continues until the call ends.
2. For every minute the call lasts, you get 1 point.
3. For every time you make a telemarketer repeat him or herself twice or more you get an additional point.
4. If you are connected through to the telemarketer's manager double the points per minute from now on (this is exponential, if you get transferred twice you get 4 points per minute, three times you get 8 points).
5. For every piece of personal information you give to the telemarketer you lose 10 points.
6. If the telemarketer raises his or her voice at you, you get a bonus 20 points.
7. If the telemakreter swears or insults you, you get a bonus 20 points.
8. If you get angry with the telemarketer, you lose 20 points.
9. If you swear or insult the telemarketer, you lose 20 points.
10. Making the telemarketer talk to someone else in the household tags you out with an extra 30 points, you don't score any extra minutes after this.
11. A bonus 100 points if the telemarketer says the following phrase "Don't you not know your own English or what?" but the phrase must be exact.
12. Double your score if the telemarketer hangs up without saying goodbye, this still applies if you've tagged out.
13. Halve your score if you hang up on the telemarketer, this still applies if you've tagged out.

My personal best score is 380 because although I gave away my full name and the type of computer I use, I kept the telemarketer on the phone for an hour before he transferred me to his boss who I kept on the phone for a further half an hour (I was somewhat bored), the original telemarketer got angry with me twice and both telemarketer and boss called me stupid and they hung up without saying goodbye.

Have fun playing and if you come up with more rules be sure to let me know!