Well, the first two days of my placement are now complete and I'm tired but loving it!
I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be a 'productive member of society' because I have had so much trouble finding work over the past few years. It's a good feeling to be doing something that people can clearly see is useful.
This isn't to say that I'm not useful the rest of the time, it just feels different when you're studying or staying home to look after sick relatives or fruitlessly pursuing a job search that has long since become a farce. Also, it is rather a lot of work to pull yourself out of emotional doldrums when you're in a holding pattern that consists of doing the same thing over and over again, sometimes in the vain hope that the results will change.
The other side of this coin, though, is the stress that comes from me being fairly sure - based on no reasoning whatsoever except social phobia - that I'm going to do something to completely stuff up and get kicked out or something similar. This, however, I will not focus on, in fact I'm hoping this is the only time I'll have to acknowledge it at all - just the once to get it off my chest.
No comments:
Post a Comment